My bathroom has that view, too

Well, Martha and I went over to Molly's house on Friday, and anyone who reads Molly's blog knows what a disaster it was. I am not as concerned about myself as I am about Martha and Molly. It is so flipping frustrating for me that good girls like them can work so hard to keep themselves pure, and then out of the blue, with no warning, they are tainted. I feel so terrible that I was the one who put Martha in that situation. I hope she can forgive me, but I guess first, I need to forgive myself.

I am mad as heck that movies like that are put on the same rental racks as the good and decent movies. I am not sure what I am going to do about it, but I guarantee that I will do something. That kind of movie has no place in society, especially here in Utah, where we are supposed to be above that worldly garbage. I know I can't change the world all at once, so I will start small -- maybe with Governor Huntsman or President Hinckley or something. All I know is that If we can get Utah cleaned up, we will then be in a position to lift the rest of the country up.

Do any of you know of any good resources to help me? I am not going to give up until unsuspecting, pure girls like Molly and Martha are safe from the evils of these movies.

I'm not good at coming up with titles

I hardly ever have time to post on this blog, and with all that is going on with Molly and everything, it seems like that is all I ever post about. I will try to fit some non-Molly content into this one, too.

First, let me respond to a couple comments on my last post. A couple people got upset about when I said, referring to Joe Johnson:

She said there was a day or two when she thought she might really like him, but there were things about his upbringing and his background that told her it wasn't right. (He's from southern California, if that helps any.)

I want to respond to this quote from Victor in Valencia:

I also want to know what you mean by "He's from California, if that helps" How does that explain anything? I read his blog and it sounds like being from California means he's honest and people in Utah are not, at least when they date each other. You better respond or everyone is going to think you're a moron.

First of all, Victor, I think the last sentence of your comment is ridiculous on several levels. First of all, I don't think you are qualified to speak for "everyone." Second, "moron" is a very childish thing to call someone. And third, I don't worry myself with what other people think of me, as long as I am happy with myself and know that the Lord is happy with me.

That said, I will explain what I meant, only because a few people seem to have misunderstood. I guess I made the mistake of thinking that most of the people who read my blog also read Molly's, and therefore have at least a little understanding of how she thinks. To anyone who knows Molly, a simple "He's from California" says A LOT about why a guy wouldn't be compatible with Molly. Molly was born and raised here in Utah County, and other than a visit to her uncle in southern Idaho, I don't think she has ever been outside of Utah. Having served a mission, I have seen how life is lived outside of Utah, and I don't think Molly could handle it. When I said "He's from southern California," I could have just as easily said "He's from Texas" or "He's from New York" or any other place that isn't predominantly LDS. That's all I meant by that, so I apologize if my meaning was unclear. (However, I think that far too many people jumped to conclusions and just assumed the worst, which is a sad commentary on the state of the world.)

To be honest with you, I have been trying to work with Molly a little bit on that naivete. I grew up here in Utah County too, so I know how she thinks. But one thing I realized on my mission, as I traveled around different parts of Michigan, is that there is a lot in this world that I had never been exposed to in Utah. Most of it is bad, but not all of it. And I think that living such a sheltered life has given Molly the idea that it is all bad.

On the other hand, you have people like Joe Johnson, who seems to be too far on the other end of the spectrum when it comes to understanding what is good and what is bad. Over on his blog, which I had never read until today, he laughs about the time a woman showed him her bare breasts. I am not a goody-goody, but I think I have a good understanding of what is right and what is wrong. That said, I have never seen a woman's breasts. He also talks about kissing a girl on the third date, as if it is perfectly normal; I feel bad for any girl he goes out with, if they have to deal with those expectations. I get the impression that he wouldn't think it was worth it to date a girl for six or seven months if he didn't get any action out of it, and that makes me sick.

Yes, Molly is naive, but she is pure, and that makes her very attractive to me. She and I decided when we were 17 that we would save our first kiss for the night we got engaged, and we have both kept to that promise. In that regard, I feel like I would be the luckiest guy in the world if I am the guy she ends up marrying.

I have a date with Molly again this weekend. She has a movie she wants to watch, so I think she will be making dinner and then we will watch it. I am thinking about asking Molly if she would mind if my little sister came, since I don't get to spend enough time with her these days. I'm sure Molly won't mind, because she loves my family.

That's enough Molly content for me. I finally did break down and get a haircut, but I ended up buzzing it all off. It feels weird that I can't part my hair to the side -- it really drives home the fact that I am not on a mission anymore. I have been trying to find a job that will fulfill me the way being a missionary did, but I haven't had much luck yet. My life is kind of in a holding pattern.

I did finally see the new Star Wars movie, and I was glad that I didn't take Molly to it. There was quite a bit of violence, and I know it would have driven her crazy that Padme and Anakin hid their relationship, because it gave the impression that no one minded thinking that Padme's baby was illegitimate.

I guess that's all for now.

Wow, it's been a while

I am not sure where to start. This past week has been one of the most confusing, frustrating times of my life. I have had emotional highs and lows that make my some of my mission experiences pale in comparison. I don't know how many details I can go into here, for two reasons: first, there are a lot of things I am still trying to figure out myself; and second, there are things going through my head that relate to my relationship with Molly, and it would be wrong of me to post them here before I have said them to her in person. But I will try to get a little bit of it out here in the blog.

My date with Molly last weekend was great. When I got home that night, I thought it was the best evening I had ever had. I was even happy to have met one of her old friends, Joe, who we ran into at the Creamery.

It wasn't until Monday that I started to think maybe that part wasn't so good. I was at Macey's picking up some corn meal for my mom, and I ran into Joe again. I couldn't remember his name at first, but I recognized him, so I did that thing that you do when you forget someone's name, throwing around a lot of "buddy" and "guy" and "killer" and stuff. As Joe and I made small talk in front of the marshmallows, I sensed that he was upset with me. At first, I thought it was because I forgot his name, so I came clean. I told him, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name. When I met you, it was my first date with Molly in a couple years, and I was pretty distracted." He told me his name, but he seemed even more upset.

I kept trying the small talk, and I asked him how he knew Molly. His answer has caused me a lot of consternation over the past several days: "We were dating until last month."

And now I am very confused. I have a billion things running through my head. I never told Molly to wait for me, but she had never mentioned this Joe fellow to me until we ran into him, so I can't help thinking that she is keeping things from me. I wanted to ask Joe if he had held Molly's hand while they were dating, but I couldn't bring myself to ask. I guess a part of me wasn't prepared for the answer.

I spent a couple days in my bedroom after that. I read my scriptures a lot, but I couldn't find anything in them about my situation. Maybe I am losing my spiritual sensitivity. I didn't even shave for those three days, and by the time I came out, I looked like a young Lorenzo Snow. But when I came out, I knew that I needed to talk to Molly, so I called her and asked her to come over.

I don't want to go into too many details about the things that Molly and I talked about, because it is between me and her. She did tell me about Joe, though. (She always refers to him by his full name, Joseph Smith Johnson. It's a little weird, but kind of funny.) They dated for a couple months, but she says it was never serious. She said there was a day or two when she thought she might really like him, but there were things about his upbringing and his background that told her it wasn't right. (He's from southern California, if that helps any.)

So basically, here's how it is: when the week began, I was thinking about the best way to propose to Molly. By the middle of the week, I was quasi-cursing her name ("fetchin' Molly, flippin' Molly, dang-blast-it-all-to-freaking-heck Molly!"). By the end of the week, I am back to thinking she might be the one, but there is still that little twinge of doubt that I am not getting the whole story about Joe.

That's my life for this week.

Can't wait for tonight!

Well, tonight I have my first no-parent date with Molly in a couple years. I am excited, nervous, and everything else you can imagine.

I had considered taking her to see the Star Wars movie, but I decided not to, for two reasons: first, I am not sure the content is appropriate; and second, I want to be able to have a nice conversation with her. I think we will wait until we have been out a few more times before we do something as non-interactive as going to a movie.

I am not going to tell you all what we ARE going to do, because I want Molly to be surprised. Hopefully she will have a good enough time that she will tell all about it on her blog when she gets home tonight.

By the way, I called Molly and talked to her about the Grateful Dead (she has recently become a fan, for those of you who don't visit her site, and I was a little concerned about it), and she and I agreed that I will listen to it with her and see what we think. It will feel really good to kneel and pray with Molly about something important like this. I imagine it will feel a lot like being married, making decisions together like that. I don't know if we will do that tonight or not, but I will let you all know how it goes.

All About Molly

Okay, I promised I would write about Molly, and now that I have a few minutes, I will tell you all about her. I guess a lot of you know about her anyway, since probably most of the people here came from Molly's site, but it might be fun to see things from my side.

Molly and I first met in first grade. She was in my class, and the first day of school, I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I sent her a note when the teacher wasn't looking. It just said, "I love you." She sent one back that said, "I love you too." So I guess she was my first girlfriend. A couple days later, she and I were in the sandbox, and I was sitting on an old tire, and she asked if she could sit on it. For some reason, I told her no, and we didn't talk again for a couple years. I have always regretted being so mean to her that day.

When we were in fourth grade, I noticed again just how cute she was. My older brother, Chris, was in sixth grade, and he was talking to his friend Craig. I told Craig to go ask Molly if she would be my girlfriend. He came back a few minutes later with her phone number and said, "She said to call her after school and she will tell you yes or no." I called later that day, and she said yes. I was so glad she wasn't still mad about the sandbox.

Elementary school relationships are silly. I only actually remember talking to her one time when she was my girlfriend. We were standing next to a portable classroom that they had brought to our school while they were doing construction on some of the older parts of the school. After a minute, we noticed that my cousin, Steven, was spying on us from around the corner. Molly took off chasing after Steven, and to my surprise, she caught him and tripped him. It was amazing and hilarious!

A few days later, I was walking into a classroom that Molly was walking out of. She was talking to her friend, and neither of them saw me. The friend asked, "So Molly, is Peter still your boyfriend?" Much to my chagrin, Molly said, "No." And thus, she became my first AND my second ex-girlfriend.

Because of weird school boundaries, Molly and I went to separate middle schools, so I didn't see her again after elementary school until we got to high school. Once again, I was taken by how pretty she was. Unlike our first two relationships, we took it slowly that time. We became best friends pretty quickly, but we didn't start dating until our senior year. I knew that I shouldn't get too serious with her because I had a mission to serve, but I probably got more attached than I should have. We went on a lot of group dates, although we did sneak out and see a movie with just the two of us one time. I felt pretty bad about it, since For the Strength of Youth says not to single-date until you are 18, but I worked it out with my bishop/dad before my mission.

In the year between high school and when I left on my mission, Molly and I decided to mellow things down. Bless her heart, Molly never wanted to stand between me and my potential to be a great missionary. I think one of her greatest successes so far in life is the way she supported me and helped me to be the best missionary I possibly could be. The day President Gardner called me in and asked me to be one of his assistants, I couldn't help thinking that Molly deserved at least part of the credit for being so supportive and always keeping her letters focused on my missionary work. (She even called my Elder Parley in all the letters.)

So anyway, I went on my mission, and Molly wrote me every week. I wrote her as often as I could, and she understood that some weeks, I just didn't have the time. And now I am home...

From reading Molly's blog, I see that it scared her that I didn't ask her out immediately after I got home. The thing is, I couldn't stop thinking about those times in first and fourth grades, when we rushed into relationships and ended up hurting each other. I know that Heavenly Father treasures His daughters, and I never want to be responsible for hurting one again, especially Molly.

Which brings me to the fireside last week. Looking back, it is a little funny that Brindy didn't recognize the girl I was with. It was my cousin, Andi, and Brindy met her on one of those group dates four or five years ago. I feel SO bad that Molly was hurt by this, because obviously, I was not on a date with my cousin. We got into the same care because Andi's mom, my Aunt Norma, was driving!

Anyway, this has been very long, and I apologize. Molly and I will (hopefully) be going out this weekend, so I will keep you posted (and I am sure she will too!).

Oh, one more thing. I am thinking about taking Molly to see the new Star Wars movie, but I notice that it is PG-13. Is it a movie I would be comfortable taking a date to?

My first non-haircut and other news

As I was shaving this morning, I noticed that my hair is getting a little long. It is at the point where, as a missionary, I would have gone and had it cut. I made the conscious decision to not get a haircut for at least a couple days. I am not turning into a hippie, but I think it will be good to help me adjust if I can feel a little hair brushing my ears or my collar.

Other things that are going on:

Well, it seems like there is a big misunderstanding going on at Molly's blog. There are a couple people who think they know me from the mission, but I have never heard of any of them. One of them is a fellow who thought he was my companion, but he seems upset about it. He has even emailed me a couple times. One thing that I am happy about from my mission is that I got along with all my companions. There were times that they tried my patience, and I am sure I annoyed them sometimes with my constant urging to get out and do the Lord's work, but we always worked it out. I always heard, if you are having trouble loving your companion, serve him, and that is what I did. Any time I had uncharitable thoughts towards my companion, I would iron his shirts for him. I think some of my companions might have caught on and kept doing annoying things just to get their shirts ironed, but it was worth it. When I hear former missionaries talk about problems with companions, it makes me sad, because I can honestly say that I never had a bad companion, and I think it was because of conscious choices I made.

In my next post, I will tell you about Molly, since she seems to have told all about me on her blog.

My first blog entry

This is weird to me, but I guess it might be fun. I never knew much about the internet before my mission, but I figure it is time to get into the swing of things and live in the 21st century. Did you know they have the entire scriptures on the lds.org website? It is pretty sweet.

I just found out what a blog was yesterday. It's a long story, but a friend of mine (who may be more than a friend, I am not sure -- but that's another story) has a blog -- what in the world does "blog" mean, anyway??? -- and when I saw hers, I thought, well, maybe I will do one for myself.

I am not sure what I will write about, but we'll see. I guess anyone can read this, so maybe some of you reading it can help me out. What sort of things do people write about on their blogs? Any tips for me?

I guess I can start by introducing myself. My name is Peter Parley, and I just returned from serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Michigan. I am 21 years old (as of last week), and I am still adjusting to life away from the mission. The thing I loved most about the mission was the structure. I loved knowing that I would wake up at the same time every morning, that I would spend the same amount of time studying the scriptures, and that I would spend all day lost in preaching the Gospel. Honestly, the hardest part about when I was called to serve in the mission office was that some of that structure went away. There were many days when we would be traveling, so I wouldn't get to study my scriptures until the evening sometimes. Other times, we would be out on exchages with some of the younger missionaries, and I would be so drained from helping them that by the end of the day, I had no energy for anything. One time, I even said my prayer while lying in bed!

But being home from the mission is like 10 times harder than serving in the mission office. Now, I have NO structure. I have to decide for myself what time I will get up. I have to make time to study my scriptures. It is hard.

Anyway, that is a little about me. I am sure I will post more later.