Wow, it's been a while
I am not sure where to start. This past week has been one of the most confusing, frustrating times of my life. I have had emotional highs and lows that make my some of my mission experiences pale in comparison. I don't know how many details I can go into here, for two reasons: first, there are a lot of things I am still trying to figure out myself; and second, there are things going through my head that relate to my relationship with Molly, and it would be wrong of me to post them here before I have said them to her in person. But I will try to get a little bit of it out here in the blog.
My date with Molly last weekend was great. When I got home that night, I thought it was the best evening I had ever had. I was even happy to have met one of her old friends, Joe, who we ran into at the Creamery.
It wasn't until Monday that I started to think maybe that part wasn't so good. I was at Macey's picking up some corn meal for my mom, and I ran into Joe again. I couldn't remember his name at first, but I recognized him, so I did that thing that you do when you forget someone's name, throwing around a lot of "buddy" and "guy" and "killer" and stuff. As Joe and I made small talk in front of the marshmallows, I sensed that he was upset with me. At first, I thought it was because I forgot his name, so I came clean. I told him, "I'm sorry, I don't remember your name. When I met you, it was my first date with Molly in a couple years, and I was pretty distracted." He told me his name, but he seemed even more upset.
I kept trying the small talk, and I asked him how he knew Molly. His answer has caused me a lot of consternation over the past several days: "We were dating until last month."
And now I am very confused. I have a billion things running through my head. I never told Molly to wait for me, but she had never mentioned this Joe fellow to me until we ran into him, so I can't help thinking that she is keeping things from me. I wanted to ask Joe if he had held Molly's hand while they were dating, but I couldn't bring myself to ask. I guess a part of me wasn't prepared for the answer.
I spent a couple days in my bedroom after that. I read my scriptures a lot, but I couldn't find anything in them about my situation. Maybe I am losing my spiritual sensitivity. I didn't even shave for those three days, and by the time I came out, I looked like a young Lorenzo Snow. But when I came out, I knew that I needed to talk to Molly, so I called her and asked her to come over.
I don't want to go into too many details about the things that Molly and I talked about, because it is between me and her. She did tell me about Joe, though. (She always refers to him by his full name, Joseph Smith Johnson. It's a little weird, but kind of funny.) They dated for a couple months, but she says it was never serious. She said there was a day or two when she thought she might really like him, but there were things about his upbringing and his background that told her it wasn't right. (He's from southern California, if that helps any.)
So basically, here's how it is: when the week began, I was thinking about the best way to propose to Molly. By the middle of the week, I was quasi-cursing her name ("fetchin' Molly, flippin' Molly, dang-blast-it-all-to-freaking-heck Molly!"). By the end of the week, I am back to thinking she might be the one, but there is still that little twinge of doubt that I am not getting the whole story about Joe.
That's my life for this week.
8 Comments:
Hi, I'm new to your blog, but I thought I would just like to mention that just because you use fake swear words doesn't mean it's not offensive to the Lord. All the myriad replacement F-words still mean the original bad one and we all know by the particular usage what you really mean to say.
Other than that, I still think you're a cool guy and if Molly isn't being completely forthcoming about EVERYTHING in her life, she's not the woman for you. A marriage is nothing if there isn't 100% trust and honesty. "Honesty in all things," as some GA once said somewhere.
--Gennifer A. Friedmann
By Anonymous, at June 18, 2005 8:19 AM
I think you're an idiot if you're insinuating anything bad about Latter-day Saints from Southern California. My husband is from SoCal and he's one of the most righteous men you'll ever meet. Guess you stuck up Utahns look down on anyone from the "mission field", huh?
Molly should go for Joseph Smith over you.
By Anonymous, at June 19, 2005 7:37 PM
I just have to say that I love reading the soap opera going on between the four or you! Keep up the good work as "One Life To Live" is getting a little old!
By LITTLE MISS, at June 20, 2005 11:20 AM
oh pahleeeeeeeease! Peter, you're going to look back at these posts years down the road and think, "man, I wish I could just go back to the time when I was so totally naive that it was just sickening"! enjoy it my friend because it won't last!
By Anonymous, at June 20, 2005 11:29 AM
I also want to know what you mean by "He's from California, if that helps" How does that explain anything? I read his blog and it sounds like being from California means he's honest and people in Utah are not, at least when they date each other. You better respond or everyone is going to think you're a moron.
By Anonymous, at June 20, 2005 12:35 PM
That's it? We get one post a week? That's no fun!
By Anonymous, at June 20, 2005 3:54 PM
If he's not judgmental and self-righteous, he's not from Utah. If he is, he's a Utard!
By Anonymous, at June 20, 2005 8:18 PM
Loving the triangle that you have with Molly and Joe
By Just Me, at June 23, 2005 10:11 AM
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